


Day 9

by DecadentCollectionDestiny



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Casual Route Spoilers (Mystic Messenger), F/F, Female Main Character (Mystic Messenger), Jaehee is baehee, Jealousy, Kang Jaehee's Route (Mystic Messenger), Mentioned Han Jumin (Mystic Messenger), Pining, Reader is Main Character (Mystic Messenger), this has been a wip for too long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22126555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecadentCollectionDestiny/pseuds/DecadentCollectionDestiny
Summary: You've done it. You've blown it. You've let it slip in the chatroom that you're in love with Jaehee Kang. Now it's only a matter of time before she finds out the secret you've been keeping for the past nine days.
Relationships: Kang Jaehee (Mystic Messenger)/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 145





	Day 9

It’s the middle of the night and you’re lying awake in bed. You can’t sleep. You’ve got something on your mind. Someone.

Suddenly, your phone dings. You fumble for it in the dark. “New chatroom”, says the RFA messenger app. You open it up to a message from Seven.

707: Aaarrrrgghhkhkjjhh  
707: Oh yeah!

He sends a triumphant emoji.

Y/N: Seven;; How’s the presentation going?

Seven had agreed to make a presentation for Jaehee for Jumin’s cat hotel project in exchange for premium gas for his “car babes”, courtesy of Zen. You’re sure Jaehee wouldn’t want to use it, but you’re up for anything that gives her less work.

707: Hey, y/n…  
707: Heeheeeheeeeee…  
707: I finished the slides!!  
707: Muahahahaha, Seven is indeed too great!  
707: Now, all I need is for Zen to pay for my premium gas.  
Y/N: The slides did turn out okay, right?  
707: Totally aced it.  
707: Everyone should get ready to shed tears over it!

You shake your head and laugh quietly to yourself. God Seven, you are too much, you think.

707: Oh. Fyi…  
707: I have four babes, not just one.

Your eyes are met with a photo of what must be Seven’s parking garage, with four extremely expensive-looking cars in it.

707: Zen’s gonna have to feed them until they are so full ^^  
707: I’m having a hard time even paying my taxes lololol This makes me feel so much better about life.  
Y/N: Knew you were filthy rich…;;  
707: Nope  
707: I’m a common car poor citizen who wants to save gas money!

You smile at your phone. You can almost hear Seven’s voice through the screen.

707: But u know…  
707: I knew u and Jaehee were pretty close  
707: but I feel like those two are getting closer now too.

You sigh. You’re sure you know who he means. 

Y/N: Jaehee and Zen?  
707: Ya lololol

You don’t know what to say. It’s been eating at you for the past couple of days. Every time Jaehee talks about how much she admires Zen, it feels like a piece of your heart breaks off. And since she had gone to visit Zen with his injured ankle for two days, and they had just exchanged meaningful gifts with each other, you can’t help thinking about how much she cares for him. 

Y/N: Ya I guess  
707: lolol you don’t seem too happy about it y/n  
707: Are you jealous of Jaehee??

You roll your eyes at that thought. To say Zen isn’t your type would be an understatement. 

Y/N: I’m not jealous of Jaehee.  
707: That’s good lolol  
707: Jealousy is a deadly sin, you know >-<  
Y/N: Well, I am jealous. 

You can’t lie. 

Y/N: Just not of Jaehee.  
707: Huh??  
707: You’re jealous of Zen??

A shocked emoji follows Seven’s text. _Uh oh,_ you think to yourself. _How am I going to get myself out of this?_

707: Why??  
Y/N: I don’t think I should say.  
707: Why not lolol

Your heart starts to beat fast. You don’t want to say why you’re jealous of Zen, why you fume with envy whenever he and Jaehee talk. Not now. Not here. Not over a messenger. Maybe not ever. 

Y/N: I really don’t want to say.  
707: I’m sure it won’t be a big deal  
Y/N: I don’t know about that…  
707: Come on, aren’t we all a little jealous of Zen lolol  
707: He’s got looks, talent, fame  
707: Being jealous of that is nothing to be ashamed of lololol  
Y/N: I mean, yeah, but…  
Y/N: That’s not the reason.  
707: y/n, you can tell me.  
707: I’m ur pal  
707: rite??  
Y/N: Of course…  
Y/N: But everyone else will see too.  
707: What’s the problem with that?  
707: We’re all members here  
707: Come on, I promise I won’t laugh  
707: And for me, that’s saying something lolol  
707: Just say it already

Your hands start to sweat. What would they think, you think, if you tell them your secret? Would you even have a chance?

ZEN has entered the chatroom.  
ZEN: Hey guys  
707: Heya Zen  
Y/N: Hi Zen  
ZEN: What’s up?  
707: y/n’s jealous of you lol

“Seven!!” you yell at your phone. The situation is spiraling out of control. 

ZEN: Aww, that’s cute lolol  
ZEN: y/n, you don’t have to be jealous of me  
ZEN: I may have this perfect face and incredible talent  
ZEN: but you have your good points too!  
Y/N: That’s not why!  
ZEN: Huh?  
ZEN: What else about me is there to be jealous of?  
707: y/n was just about to tell us. 

Your hands are shaking. Part of you wants to say it, to spit out the thing you’ve been holding in your mouth for so long. You would rather everyone knew, that it wasn’t a secret, but you know that once you say it, there is no going back. 

Y/N: Whoever said I was going to do that?!?  
ZEN: Why don’t you tell us?  
Y/N: I already said, I don’t feel like I should.  
707: y/n, it’s really fine  
ZEN: Yeah, you can tell us anything that’s on your mind.  
Y/N: I keep telling you, I really don’t think I should!  
ZEN: But why?  
Y/N: I just don’t!  
707: I rly don’t get it  
707: If you’re not jealous of Zen’s looks or his fame or his talent…  
707: Then why are you jealous of him???

At this point, you’ve had enough. Your fingers move seemingly on their own, and you hit “Send” before you even have time to think about what you’ve just said. 

Y/N: Because I’m in love with Jaehee, okay!?

Nobody says anything for a long moment. 

707: Oh…  
707: That actually explains a lot...  
ZEN: Wait, so -  
ZEN: You’re gay?!?!  
707: Zen, shut up.  
707: I totally understand now…  
707: You aren’t jealous of Jaehee that she gets to see Zen...  
707: You’re jealous of Zen that he gets to see Jaehee!!  
ZEN: Excellent deduction, Sherlock.  
ZEN: So you’re really…  
ZEN: In love with her?

You sigh, your lip trembling. 

Y/N: If not, I don’t think I know what love is.  
707: Wow, so romantic lolol  
ZEN: Jaehee’s been worrying about me  
ZEN: Almost non-stop for days…  
ZEN: If…  
ZEN: You had feelings for her this whole time…  
707: Ya and she talks so highly of you all the time  
ZEN: No wonder you were jealous...  
Y/N: Well, it doesn’t matter.  
Y/N: I’m sure she’s not interested in girls. 

There is another long pause. You can feel yourself slowly sinking into dejectedness. 

ZEN: Well…  
ZEN: What happens now?  
Y/N: There’s nothing I can do.  
Y/N: She’ll read these messages in a couple of hours.  
Y/N: I have until then.  
Y/N: At least she wasn’t here when I said it.  
707: y/n…  
Y/N: I’ll…  
Y/N: I’ll leave now.  
Y/N: Sorry to bring the mood down, everyone.  
707: y/n, wait!  
Y/N has left the chatroom. 

You hurl your phone across the room. It hits the wall with a loud bang and falls to the floor. _Well then,_ you think to yourself. _That’s that. She’ll know soon. It was fun while it lasted. The end._

You turn over in your bed and bury your face in your pillow. The image of Jaehee’s face comes floating to your mind, especially the picture Zen had sent of her eating curry at his house, making a peace sign, wearing a comfortable-looking t-shirt instead of her usual business attire and a sweet smile on her face. You realize that now that you will never be able to see it in person, not without it being awkward and uncomfortable for both of you.

 _Why is this happening?_ you ask yourself. _Why did I have to fall for her?_ There’s just something about her that won’t let you look at or think about anyone else. Her dedication, her passion, but, most importantly, her kind and beautiful heart. The way her voice fills your insides with warmth. The way she says your name, so that you can hear the smile on her lips. Your heart aches. You’d at least lasted this long pretending your feelings for Jaehee were merely friendly. Now you’re positive that she’s going to slip through your fingers like grains of sand. You are going to lose her.

Suddenly, your phone begins to ring from the other side of the room. You recognize the jazzy tune that you’ve set as Zen’s ringtone. Groaning, you stick your head under your pillow. You don’t want to talk to anyone right now, least of all him. Even though Jaehee has said many times that she doesn’t have feelings for him, you can’t help suspecting that she merely says that because of their relationship as celebrity and fan. You think about how excited her voice becomes when she talks about him and how she had cared for him when he was injured, shopping for him, cooking for him, and giving him a heartfelt gift at the end of her visit. 

You begin to cry. Tears stain your pillowcase as you think about how you’ve made the RFA awkward for everyone in a matter of days by showing up out of the blue and catching feelings for someone you weren’t supposed to. Everything is ruined now, and it’s all your fault. 

Your phone stops ringing, and the room goes silent.

You don’t want Zen’s talent, his fame, or his looks. You only want whatever it is he has that draws Jaehee towards him. The tears begin to flood down your face, and you cry yourself to sleep as the thought that you will probably never have it haunts you all night long. 

***

You wake up late the next morning, your eyes fuzzy with dried tears. The covers feel heavier this morning. You don’t want to get out of bed.

But eventually you do. You stumble across your room, sitting on the floor as you pick up your phone. 

1 Missed Call: ZEN  
1 Voicemail: ZEN  
4 Text Messages: ZEN: y/n, I’m sorry th...  
5 Text Messages: 707: Everything’s gon…

What did they talk about after you left? There’s a way you can find out. You open the chat log from the previous night. 

Y/N has left the chatroom  
ZEN: y/n!  
ZEN: …  
ZEN: You know, I did start noticing something was a little off…  
ZEN: When I posted the picture of the coffee pot Jaehee gave me  
ZEN: She made a remark about how she wanted a present from Jaehee too…  
ZEN: And that wasn’t all...  
707: ya…  
707: idk if theres really anything we can do  
707: we’ll just have to see what happens  
ZEN: Yeah…  
ZEN: Have you ever experienced unrequited love, Seven?  
707: nope lol  
707: But I can feel how bad y/n is hurting…  
ZEN: Me too  
ZEN: I think I’m gonna call her  
ZEN: I hope she’s doing okay  
707: She might not pick up…  
ZEN: Yeah, I know  
ZEN: It’s getting late  
ZEN: We should both be getting some sleep  
707: ya  
707: I don’t know what Jaehee’s gonna do when she reads this…  
707: Anyway, good night  
ZEN: Good night…  
707 has left the chatroom  
ZEN has left the chatroom

Sighing, you listen to Zen’s voicemail.

“Hey, y/n, it’s Zen…” you hear his voice say. “I just… wanted to give you a call to check up on you. I’m… not surprised you didn’t pick up. I get that you might not want to talk to me right now, but I wanna say that... no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you, okay? And, between you and me…” Zen’s voice becomes quieter, as if sharing a secret. “I think you’ve got a shot with Jaehee. She talks about you to me a lot, you know. She really cares about you. And I don’t have feelings for her, I can tell you that. I mean, of course she’s beautiful and intelligent and…” He clears his throat. “You know what I mean. I only see her as a friend, I really do.” He sighs. “Alright, well, I hope you have a good night. Call me or text me when you can. Then… good night.” There’s a beep as the voicemail ends.

You smile and shake your head. You can’t hate Zen. That belief is reaffirmed when you see his texts.

ZEN: y/n, I’m sorry that you feel jealous of me…  
ZEN: I hope you can still think of me as a friend.  
ZEN: I sincerely hope everything works out  
ZEN: Everyone in RFA is here for you, you know that, right?

You smile at your phone. His words make you feel a little better.

Y/N: Thank you, Zen…  
Y/N: Of course I still think of you as a friend.  
Y/N: I think I just… need some time.

Then you check Seven’s messages from the previous night.

707: Everything’s gonna be okay  
707: You have God7’s promise!!  
707: Look, there go y/n’s worries, launched into the night sky!  
707: BAAAM!  
707: Exploded like fireworks!!

Seven never fails to make you laugh. 

Y/N: Thanks Seven lolol  
Y/N: I appreciate it  
Y/N: I’ll let you know how everything turns out

You sigh and stand up, leaving the texting page of the RFA app. Making your way into the kitchen, you begin to scroll through new emails from potential party guests. You have a job to do, after all. Anything to distract yourself. 

Your mind can’t help but wander as you skim the emails. _What is Jaehee doing right now?_ you wonder. You glance up at the time. Almost 9 AM. It wouldn’t surprise you if she was already at her office by now, up to her eyeballs in work. _Did she eat breakfast? Is she working too hard?_

Suddenly, your phone begins to vibrate in your hand. You look at the screen and see Jaehee’s profile picture smiling at you.

Incoming Call: Jaehee Kang

Oh no… you think. Here it comes. As much as you don’t want to pick up the phone, you’d never turn down any excuse to hear Jaehee’s voice. You press the green “Answer” button and raise the phone to your ear. “...Hello?”

“Good morning, y/n!” comes Jaehee’s cheerful voice. “It’s Jaehee.”

“Hi, Jaehee…” you say slowly. “I’m…” you rub the back of your neck. “I’m assuming you… read the chat logs from last night?”

“I’m afraid I haven’t,” replies Jaehee. “I’ve just been so busy, I haven’t had time. Why? Did something happen? I will try to read them as soon as I can.”

“N-No,” you say in relief. “It - it’s nothing important. Don’t worry about it. You’ll get to it when you get to it.”

“Okay then,” says Jaehee. “I just called to see how you were doing. I am at work at the moment. Did you eat breakfast?”

“I was just about to.”

“Just now?”

“Yeah, I… kind of overslept this morning. I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Jaehee’s voice is full of concern. “Maybe you should try to go to bed a little earlier tonight. Your sleep is important.”

You smile, sitting down in a chair at the table. “I’ll do that. Thanks, Jaehee.” You clear your throat. “What about you? Did you eat yet?”

“Yes,” says Jaehee. “I stopped at a convenience store on my way to work to get something to eat. But I -” She suddenly interrupts herself. “Oh… Yes, Mr. Han. Right away, sir.”

“Is Jumin there?” you ask. “Tell him I say hi!”

“y/n says hello, Mr. Han.” You hear a low, faraway sound that must be Jumin’s voice, then receding footsteps. “He says hello as well,” Jaehee says to you. She sighs. “I’m so sorry to cut this call short, but I’ve just received more work.”

Your heart falls. “More work?” you ask. “Please… don’t work yourself too hard.”

“Hm…” You hear the smile in her voice and can picture it vividly in your mind. “Thank you for your concern… y/n. I will make sure to call you later. Well then… goodbye.” There is a beep as the call ends. 

The smile melts off your face and you slump down onto the table. You’re surprised by your own acting skills. Maybe they even rival lovely Zen’s. 

Why does her voice do this to you? Every second you spend talking to her your heart feels like it’s sprouted wings. How much do you treasure her sweet goodbye of “geuleom, iman”, and how long after she hangs up the phone does it echo in your mind? How much lovelier does your own name sounds coming from her throat than from anyone else’s? Much, much more than you will ever be able to put into words. 

And then you remember that you will never get the chance anyway.

_It won’t be long now…_

***

A couple of hours later, you’re still sitting around in your pajamas, on your phone. You don’t really feel like doing much of anything. You’ve answered all the emails, so now you’re really just killing time until the inevitable.

A jaunty tune rings out from your phone. “Incoming Call: Yoosung★” it says. You tap the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Hi, y/n!” comes Yoosung’s cheery voice. “It’s me, Yoosung.”

“Hi, Yoosung! How are you doing?”

“I’m doing well, thanks!” Yoosung’s voice suddenly falters. “I, um… I read the chat log from last night…”

Your face falls. “Oh…”

“...And I noticed you haven’t logged in since then, so… I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You smile softly. “Thanks, Yoosung. I’m… I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Yoosung’s voice sounds concerned. “You don’t seem fine.”

“I mean…” you begin, lying down lengthwise on the couch, your feet dangling off the side. “You can probably guess how I’m feeling.”

“Yeah…”

“But there’s really nothing I can do.”

“I feel so bad…” says Yoosung. “I wish I knew how to cheer you up, but I don’t really have any experience in this area…” He pauses for a moment. “Do you want to… talk about it? I heard that helps people sort out their feelings… and stuff.”

You sigh. “I…” You’re not sure what to say. “I just… love Jaehee. And I know she doesn’t love me back. That’s really all there is to it.”

“y/n… don’t say that,” says Yoosung. “Don’t you think there’s a chance she could feel the same way about you? You’re a great person, and I know she cares about you a lot.”

You shake your head. “I… really don’t think so. I know she cares about me as a friend, and that makes me very happy… but I don’t think it’ll ever be more than that. And the way she talks about Zen…” You laugh ruefully. “She seems very straight to me.”

“Well…” says Yoosung thoughtfully. “You never know. I… hope everything works out.” He clears his throat. “Anyways, take care of yourself, y/n! I hope you’re not just lying around all day. That can be pretty easy to do when you’re sad.”

“Uh… nope,” you reply, staring at the ceiling. “Definitely not doing that.”

“Uh huh,” Yoosung deadpans. “You should go do something fun for yourself! That’s what everyone always tells me.”

You think about it for a minute. “That sounds like a good idea. I think I’ll do that.” You smile, wishing Yoosung could see it. “Thanks, Yoosung.”

“No problem! Have a great day, y/n!” Yoosung hangs up the phone.

You stand up from the couch and head back into your room to get dressed. You decide to go out to a coffee shop and get something to eat and drink. Jaehee had told you about a type of drink she really enjoyed, and you wanted to try it.

 _No,_ you tell yourself. _You’re not thinking about her right now. You’re just going to go out and have a good time, all by yourself, right?_

 _Right,_ you answer yourself as you pull on your shoes.

A few minutes later, you arrive at the coffee shop. It’s a popular one, but not too popular. You hope it isn’t too crowded.

A bell rings merrily as you open the door. The shop has a calming atmosphere, filled with potted plants, art on the walls, and a few groups of people enjoying pleasant conversation. But as you scan the room, your eyes land on one table in particular.

There are two people sitting at this table. You see the back of a man’s head, a man with white hair and a long ponytail reaching down his back. And across from him sits a woman, a woman with short brown hair, light brown eyes, and a mouth turned upwards in a very familiar smile.

Jaehee and Zen.

Your heart immediately leaps into your throat. _What are they doing here? Are they on a date? No, they can’t be. But what if they are?_ Your gaze quickly lowers to the floor as you step into the shop. 

You walk the long way around to get to the line at the counter, in hopes that they won’t see you. Then again, you’d never met them in person, and you’d never posted a picture of yourself in any chatroom before, so although you know what they look like, they don’t know what you look like. _So even if they do see you,_ you attempt to reassure yourself, _they won’t recognize you._

That doesn’t make you any less nervous. 

“I can help who’s next.” The young man behind the counter catches you by surprise. “What can I get for you?”

“Um, yeah…” you say hastily. “I’ll get a, uh…” you look up at the sign above the counter. “I’ll have a medium caramel iced coffee, please.”

“Alright, and can I have a name for the order?”

“y/n.”

“Okay, y/n, it’ll be ready in just a moment.”

“Thanks.” You pay for your drink, completely forgetting that you had wanted to get a pastry too, and sit down at a table by the window.

Your stomach feels like it’s doing somersaults. Mind racing, you can’t help but glance over at the table where Jaehee and Zen are sitting. _What am I supposed to do? Do I talk to them? Do I not? Is that too weird? Has she read the chat log yet? Please, oh please, let them not be on a date!_

You rest your chin on your hand. So much for a stress-free, solo outing. You look out the window, trying to distract yourself, but, even from across the room, you can hear Jaehee’s musical laugh, and it feels like it’s driving a spear through your heart.

The loud voice of the barista startles you. “For y/n?” You abruptly stand up. 

“y/n?” you hear Jaehee’s voice say. She looks over at the barista, then at you, since you’re the only one standing in the whole shop.

“Oh my gosh!” You feign surprise, acting like you hadn’t known they were there. “Jaehee? Zen?”

Zen looks up from his drink and at you. “Wait, is that you, y/n?”

“Yes!” You quickly grab your drink from the counter and make your way to Jaehee and Zen’s table. _Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god,_ repeats in your head over and over, your heart beating out of your chest.

“It’s so very nice to meet you,” Jaehee says, standing and extending her hand. You shake it, hoping your hand isn’t sweaty. Her fingers are strong but soft.

“You too.” You give Jaehee your best totally-not-nervous smile. 

“Yeah, y/n,” says Zen. “It’s great to finally see you in person.” He shakes your hand. “You’re just as cute as I thought you’d be,” he grins.

You hear Jaehee giggle behind you. Your face turns bright red, though not from Zen’s comment. “Thanks, Zen,” you laugh. “You look… exactly like your pictures.” The three of you laugh.

You kick your feet awkwardly, not sure what to say or even whether to sit down with them or to keep standing. “How’s your leg?” you finally ask Zen.

“100% better,” Zen smiles. “I told you I heal like a monster.” He seems to read your nervousness and gestures to third chair at the table. “But come on, sit down.”

You cautiously sit down at the table. 

“I really am glad to see you in person, y/n,” says Jaehee, giving you a smile that makes you glad you’re sitting down. “What a coincidence that we happened to bump into each other!”

You laugh awkwardly. “Yeah, it really is.”

“How are the party preparations going?”

“Uh, really well. I’ve got about twenty or so people so far who say they’re definitely coming.”

“That fast?” asks Zen in surprise. “That’s amazing! Isn’t that impressive, Jaehee?”

“Very,” Jaehee nods. “I’m glad we have someone like you in RFA, y/n.”

Her words force a wobbly smile onto your face. You feel like you’re about to throw up. At least, by the way the conversation is going, it seems like she still hasn’t read the chat logs yet. “Thanks, Jaehee,” you say. “I’m really glad I joined, and that I got to meet… all of you guys.” You look to Zen, and he gives you a quick, deep, sympathetic look.

“Well, we’re all glad you joined too,” he says. 

Jaehee sips her drink. “Of course.” 

You smile down at your own drink, which you still haven’t touched. “Thanks…”

Jaehee looks at you concernedly. “Are you alright, y/n? You seem… sad.”

You quickly shake your head. “Ah… no, I’m fine. Just, you know, tired.”

Jaehee nods understandingly. “Ahh, of course. You told me this morning you didn’t sleep very well.”

“Really?” asks Zen. He bites his lip and gives you a troubled look. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

You know that he knows why you didn’t sleep well. “It’s really fine.”

“Well, in any case…” Jaehee begins. “If there is something troubling you, you can always tell me, you know. I… We’re always here for you. You’re one of us.”

You do your best to look Jaehee in the eyes, the beautiful brown eyes. You had longed to do this for a while now, to see those eyes in person. You hadn’t thought you would feel this way when it finally happened. “Thank you. I really… appreciate it.”

Jaehee smiles and opens her mouth to say something, but is interrupted by her phone beginning to ring. “Oh!” She pulls it out of her purse and grimaces. “It’s Mr. Han…” She looks up at you and Zen. “Please excuse me.”

“Of course,” says Zen. “Go right ahead.”

Jaehee answers the phone and stands up. “Yes, Mr. Han?” she asks, making her way to the door of the coffee shop. The bell rings as she steps outside.

A sigh escapes your lungs and you bury your head in your hands. You feel Zen’s hand on your shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’re not on a date.”

“Thank god.”

“Look-” Zen’s voice begins to speed up. “I invited her out for lunch yesterday evening after I went to see her and she accepted right away and after everything that happened last night I knew you would feel really bad about it but I didn’t want to cancel out on her and - I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you reply, your head still in your hands. “It’s fine. Really.”

Zen sighs. “She hasn’t read the log yet?”

“I guess not.” 

“Do you want to… just tell her? Get it over with?”

“No,” you say firmly. “I want to postpone that for as long as possible.”

Zen nods sadly. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry our first meeting in person… had to be like this.”

“No, I am,” you say. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have said anything, I shouldn’t have-” You sigh and look sideways at Zen. “I’m sorry. I made it awkward.”

“Come on,” says Zen encouragingly. “You can’t control who you fall for. This isn’t your fault.”

“Yes it is,” you insist, your voice shaking. “I was stupid. I went and caught feelings, and then I spilled it all over the messenger for everyone to see, and now I-” You shake your head, grab your coffee, and abruptly stand up, pushing your chair to the side with a loud scraping sound. “I have to go.”

“y/n, wait!” Zen calls as you stare at the floor the whole way to the door. You push it open - and run right into Jaehee who is standing right outside, just hanging up the phone.

“y/n?” she asks in surprise. You give her a quick, pained look, and keep walking, saying nothing, hurrying down the sidewalk. 

You take one sip of your drink and immediately throw it in the nearest garbage can. The taste of coffee is too bitter for you right now.

You burst into the apartment a few minutes later and collapse on the couch, tears welling up in your eyes. _This is agony,_ you think to yourself. _Sheer agony. Maybe Zen’s idea wasn’t so bad after all. I just want this all to be over._

You pull up Jaehee’s contact on the RFA app and stare at it, your thumb hovering over the “call” button. _You’re going to do this,_ you tell yourself. _It’s going to be fine, you’re just going to do it. You’re going to tell her-_

Your phone’s vibration suddenly startles you. It’s Jaehee. You instinctively hit the “answer” button right away. “Hello?” you say frenziedly.

“Hello, y/n? This is Jaehee. I’m on my way back to the office right now. Is everything alright? Zen told me you had to… dash off.”

You clear your throat. “Uh, yeah, everything’s fine. I’m sorry, I just… wasn’t feeling well… so I had to hurry home.”

“Oh dear.” You can hear the worry in Jaehee’s voice. “Well, please take care of yourself. Get some rest, okay?”

“O-Okay,” you manage to spit out. “I’ll try.” You take a deep breath. “Um, Jaehee… there’s … something I need to tell you.”

“Oh? What is it?”

Her voice, her sweet, sweet voice. It does things to you that you can’t explain. Right now it’s making your hands sweat, your lungs and heart speed up, your throat close up, and your brain stop working. “I… I just…” Your mouth can’t form the words that half of you has been dying to say to her, but that the other half would do anything to prevent you from saying. 

“Just… read the chat logs when you get the chance, okay?” you blurt out and, without waiting for a response, hang up the phone. 

“Aaaagh!” you cry aloud. You have to stop yourself from hurling your phone across the room for the second time in less than 24 hours. Instead you drop it on the couch next to you and bury your head in your hands. “What is _wrong_ with me?” 

Beside you, your phone buzzes. You slowly pick your head up and look at the screen.

“New text messages: Jaehee Kang”

Jaehee Kang: y/n?  
Jaehee Kang: Something really important must have happened…  
Jaehee Kang: I am so sorry, but the presentation is happening very soon, so I’m afraid I simply do not have the time to read the logs right now  
Jaehee Kang: But I will very soon. I promise.  
Jaehee Kang: In the meantime… please take care of yourself, y/n…

You can’t bring yourself to respond. The feeling that’s been weighing on you all day is becoming almost unbearable. You just want it all to be over. You sigh and let your head sink back into your hands.

_What is wrong with me?_

***

The minutes feel like hours. The hours, days. But in reality, it’s only early evening when you open up the RFA chatroom page for the first time since very early that morning.

You’ve missed a lot of chatrooms. You read only one, the one that must have happened right after Jaehee’s presentation. As you read about how the cat hotel presentation went, Jumin’s complaints, and Jaehee standing up to him, something you had been hoping she would work up the courage to do for a while, you feel your insides begin to glow with warmth. You are so proud of her. This is why you feel the way you do about her. This is Jaehee Kang, herself. And you love her for that. For being Jaehee Kang.

You feel like you might cry. But you don’t. You don’t have any tears left. 

You don’t want to go through and read all the other chatrooms. Instead you enter the one that’s open right now, where Yoosung and Seven are online.

Y/N has entered the chatroom  
Yoosung★: Oh, y/n!  
707: hey hey hey!  
Y/N: Hey everyone  
Yoosung★: How… are you feeling?  
Y/N: I’m okay  
Yoosung★: Zen mentioned  
Yoosung★: he and Jaehee ran into you when they were out earlier!  
707: Yah!!  
707: What a crazy coincidence!!

You shake your head, knowing that they are unaware of just how awkward it had been.

Y/N: I know, right?  
Y/N: I was so surprised!  
707: I’m super jelly they got to see u in person before the rest of us lololol  
Y/N: lolol  
Yoosung★: We’ll all get to see each other at the party!  
Yoosung★: It’s in two days, remember??  
707: That’s right!!  
Y/N: I can’t believe it’s so soon!  
Yoosung★: Yeah!!

The chatroom was silent for a long, awkward minute

707: So…  
707: Are we gonna talk about it?  
Yoosung★: Talk about what?  
707: The elephant in the room.  
Yoosung★: ...What elephant?

A sigh escapes your lungs.

Y/N: Thanks, Yoosung, but we all know what elephant  
Yoosung★: …  
Yoosung★: So she still hasn’t read the log?  
Y/N: She’s been busy all day, with the presentation and everything  
Y/N: She said she would as soon as she can  
707: She was logged in not too long ago…  
Y/N: Yeah  
Y/N: So she’s probably going to read it soon  
Yoosung★: Yeah…  
Y/N: Honestly, I just want this all to be over  
Y/N: I just want it to be over and done with  
707: I totally  
Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom  
707: understand that

Your breath catches in your throat.

Yoosung★: Oh…  
Yoosung★: Jaehee!  
Jaehee Kang: Hello everyone  
707: Hii~  
Y/N: Hi, Jaehee…  
Jaehee Kang: Ah, y/n…  
Jaehee Kang: I’m glad you are online.

Your palms are sweaty, and you can barely hold onto your phone.

Jaehee Kang: Before anyone asks  
Jaehee Kang: I have read the chat log.  
707: So?  
707: What did you think??  
707: Of y/n’s heartfelt confession of love???  
Yoosung★: Seven, shh.  
Yoosung★: Jaehee and y/n, we’ll leave if you want us to...  
Y/N: Um…  
Jaehee Kang: No, that’s alright  
Jaehee Kang: y/n?  
Y/N: ...yes?

At this point, you’re practically hyperventilating. _Just say it!_ you yell in your head. _Just say it. Say that you’re not interested, that you only see me as a friend, that you’re straight, that you wouldn’t do anything to risk our friendship, just say it. Just say something._

Jaehee Kang: There is a nice park near the coffee shop we met at earlier today.  
Jaehee Kang: I would very much like to talk to you in person.  
Jaehee Kang: Will you go for a walk with me?  
Y/N: ...Yes, of course I will.  
Jaehee Kang: Thank you very much  
Jaehee Kang: Shall we meet there in about fifteen minutes?  
Y/N: Yes, that would be fine.  
Jaehee Kang: Wonderful.  
Jaehee Kang: I’ll see you there.  
Jaehee Kang: I hope everyone has a good evening.  
Jaehee Kang: I’ll be going now  
707: Bye Jaehee…  
Yoosung★: You have a good evening too…  
Jaehee Kang: Thank you.  
Y/N: See you soon…  
Jaehee Kang: Yes…  
Jaehee Kang: I’ll see you soon….  
Jaehee Kang: ...y/n  
Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.

For the first time in what feels like forever, you exhale.

Y/N: Well…  
Y/N: I guess I should get going.  
707: Yes!!  
707: Here it comes!!  
707: The moment of truth!!!

You can’t understand how Seven is still so optimistic.

Y/N: lol  
Y/N: Right…  
Yoosung★: y/n…  
Yoosung★: Good luck!  
Yoosung★: I’m sure everything will work out in the end.  
Y/N: Thanks Yoosung.  
Y/N: I’ll get going then  
Y/N: Bye, you guys  
707: byebye!  
Y/N has left the chatroom.

Ten minutes later, you’re sitting on a bench in the park, resting your elbows on your knees, staring at nothing in particular. The sun is just starting to go down, casting a gentle gleam dappled with darkness over the landscape. 

_Here it comes,_ you think to yourself. _Here comes what you’ve been dreading all day._ But strangely, you’re ready. You’ve accepted your fate. You just want to get it over with.

You take a deep breath, the cool evening air filling your lungs. _Just let it be over. Just let it be over. Just let it be-_

Just then, you hear footsteps approaching. You turn your head to look. It’s Jaehee. You stand up quickly.

She’s still beautiful. The golden sunlight sparkles in her caramel-colored eyes. She smiles when she sees you. You want nothing more than to gaze at that sweet face, to look at her lovely smile in the peacefulness of the park in the quiet evening. But she’s not yours to look at. You give her a quick smile back, then your gaze quickly returns to the ground.

The two of you begin to walk down the path. Neither of you says anything for a long moment. The whole world is silent except for the sound of your footsteps and the ambience of the wind in the trees.

“I…” Jaehee says finally. “I know what I want to say to you, but I… for some reason, I can’t say it… Even though… I know what will happen when I say it…” Her voice is unusually high-pitched.

There’s no point anymore. “Look, Jaehee…” you begin, your eyes still fixed on the sidewalk. “I’m sorry. I - I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just-” You shake your head. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

Jaehee shakes her head. “N-No, y/n. Please... don’t be sorry.” She bites her lip. “Um… I’m… confused about one thing. I’d just like to clarify something first…” she says. She clears her throat. “You, um… said you were jealous of Zen?”

You nod silently.

“Be-Because I was… worrying about him and… talking about how I admire him?”

You nod again, gritting your teeth.

“But then… you were the one who suggested that I go visit him, and even helped convince everyone that I should be the one to go.” Jaehee’s fingers intertwine, her thumbs rubbing against each other. “So… why did you do that if you were jealous of him?”

“I…” You sigh and squeeze your eyes shut. “I knew… how much you cared about him. Maybe I even thought that… you had feelings for him.” You can’t believe you’re saying these words. You hadn’t expected this conversation to go this far. “As… as much as I wanted to be the one you worried about… and cared for… I knew that going to see him would make you happy. And… to me…” You look at Jaehee’s face and your heart aches. “Your happiness is worth more than mine.”

Your head drops to look back down at the ground, but you feel Jaehee’s fingers under your chin. You both stop walking and she turns your face to look at hers. To your surprise, her eyes are positively shining and her radiant smile is back on her face. Without a word, without a sound, without a moment’s hesitation, she leans in and presses her lips to yours.

Disbelief. That’s the only thing your mind can think right now. _How is this happening?! This is the definition of “too good to be true”. This can’t be real._

But it is. It’s real. Jaehee. Jaehee Kang. She is real, she is here, and she is kissing you. It’s real.

Your eyes gently close and you return the kiss. Almost instinctively, you wrap your arms around Jaehee’s waist. A soft sound escapes Jaehee’s throat, like the coo of a dove, and her hand slides behind your neck and pulls you closer. You feel yourself slowly melting into her touch, and all the tension that had been in your body mere moments before has entirely dissolved.

All too soon, the both of you pull away. Your brain still can’t entirely fathom what just happened. “I… You… Wh-what?” you stutter.

Jaehee giggles, still looking directly into your eyes. “y/n…” she says slowly. “I’ve wanted to do that… for a while now.”

“R… Really?”

“Yes…” A pink flush creeps onto Jaehee’s cheeks. “You have touched my life so profoundly and… made changes in me that I didn’t know were possible. Ever since I met you, you’ve inspired me to be better, to be the person that you know I can be.” She reaches for your hand and takes it in both of hers. “In you, I find comfort… and confidence… and…” She shakes her head, rubbing her thumb across your hand as your eyes start to become misty. “...And warmth. That’s the only way I know how to describe it.”

“But…” you begin in bewilderment. You didn’t even know what I look like until today.”

Jaehee shakes her head. “I couldn’t care less what you look like. It was your heart that… that drew me to you. Although…” She smiles shyly. “You are very beautiful.”

You place your other hand on top of Jaehee’s, blinking rapidly in astonishment and to keep back tears. “I just… I can’t believe… I never thought you… that someone as amazing as you… would ever feel that way about me.”

Jaehee’s face softens. “I… felt the same way about you.” She gives your hand a squeeze. “y/n… I hope you never feel that way again. Because you really are a wonderful person. I mean that. With all of my heart. You have made my life infinitely better just by being your sweet, incredible self, and…” She smiles at you, her gentle, angelic smile that simply lights up your life. “And I love you for that.”

Hearing those words, “I love you”, leave her lips, you finally break. You had been keeping in the emotions running through you for the last several minutes, but now they finally break free. A single tear slides out of your eye as you gaze into Jaehee’s. 

“Jaehee…” you whisper. Her name is like honey in your mouth. You reach up and cup her face in both hands and say the words you’ve wanted to say for nine days. “You’re so beautiful. You have a beautiful face, a beautiful body, a beautiful mind, a beautiful heart, and a beautiful soul.” 

Jaehee’s lip is trembling, and her eyes are smiling in sheer joy.

“Jaehee Kang, you’re beautiful inside and out and I love you.” This time, you are the one to pull her face close to yours and kiss her soft lips. You feel her arms wrap around you and hold you close. Holding her, you feel like you are holding the most precious thing in the world, and you never want to let her go. 

You pull back from the kiss, but each of you keeps your arms wrapped tightly around the other. Looking into her eyes, you run a hand through Jaehee’s hair, causing her to smile, close her eyes, and emit a sigh of pure bliss. 

You shake your head and laugh quietly to yourself.

“What is it?” asks Jaehee.

“I’m going to get a lot of _‘I told you so’_ s.”


End file.
